Damaged Read online

Page 3


  I nod. “Our hideout.”

  Her thin, pink lips curl at the corners. “I should flee from mob bosses more often—especially if it pays off like this.”

  I reach down and undo my seatbelt. Then I open the door. “Don’t make it a habit, Kitten. The last thing I want is for you to end up face down in a ditch somewhere.”

  I groan as I swing my legs out of the car. My muscles are done. After remaining stagnant for the entire drive here, they’ve gone to sleep and are stuck in a permanently hard state. Behind me, I hear Emily groan and swear too. I can see the remainder of the day being lost to sleep, but first, I have to dispose of the car. Someone would have reported it stolen by now.

  I push myself up and out of the car. The first thing I spot is the glistening lake at the back of the house. The perfect spot to sink a car.

  “How’d you make it across the thruway?” Emily asks, as she hobbles up beside me.

  “This car has a tag, can you believe it?”

  “Really? Shit. That’s lucky.”

  I tune her out as she talks and I scan the area for something heavy, something I can put in the trunk. The car itself will fill with water and sink, but you never know how strong a current can be until it washes the car up somewhere down the river. I don’t want to take any chances while we’re in the area. My stare stops at a tall pile of old bricks stacked against the left flank of the house. Enough of those and the car should stay at the bottom of the lake for a long time—possibly forever.

  “…and I don’t understand—”

  “There.” I state, cutting her off. “Bricks. They’ll do just fine.”

  I look at her and she blinks her large eyes at me, confused. “For what?”

  I smirk. For a girl from the streets, you’d think she’d put two and two together. “For sinking the car.”

  *Emily*

  Large pockets of air bubble along the surface of the lake, creating ripples as far as I can see. With one last, large ‘gloop’ the roof of the car disappears from sight. I’ve never had to sink a car before. It’s kind of fun.

  Pulling my bag higher on his shoulder, Jai exhales and turns around to face the house. I watch the lake for a little while longer. I haven’t spent much time out of the city. To see colors other than the ones that paint the surface of dull metals, rust and dirty glass is refreshing.

  Greens.

  Reds.

  Oranges.

  Being stuck underground makes you miss the things you never really thought about before. Like colors. Never have I appreciated mustard yellow before.

  “How does a hot shower sound?” Jai asks.

  My knees tremble, weakening at the word. It carries an orgasmic tune, if that’s possible. I turn to face him.

  “How hot are we talking?”

  His dry lips quirk at the corners, darkening the rings around his eyes.

  “Red skin, thick steam and wet walls kind of hot.”

  A dreamy sigh lets itself out of my throat. “I don’t even know what that feels like anymore.”

  He flicks his head towards the large house. “Let’s go find out.”

  I follow him as he makes his way toward the pretty wooden porch. White and turquoise pots hang from polished chains. Thick ropes of green vines with cream flowers spill over the round edges. They’re definitely not the kind of flowers I would expect Jai to have.

  The floorboards creak underneath our feet, sending a shiver down my spine. Two white, wicker rocking chairs sway gently in the cool fall air and then it hits me.

  “This isn’t your place, is it?”

  Jai laughs as he drops my bag to the floor and reaches over his head, gripping the collar of his filthy, green shirt. “You think I’d hide us in a place that I own? No. Those places will be the first to be hit by Skull.”

  Places? He has more than one?

  I fold my arms across my chest. “I can’t take someone else’s home.”

  He pulls the shirt off over his head, exposing his glistening torso. “This house is vacant until the summer. No one will know we’re here.”

  I take a slight step to the left as he cocks his arm back and sends his fist crashing into the glass. It shatters with a loud crack and large, pointy, skin piercing shards drop to the floor. It doesn’t feel right—the heaviness on my chest. I don’t feel comfortable taking someone else’s home, even if they do only use it in the summer. I watch, quietly—uncertainly—as Jai carefully reaches in past the glass and unlocks the door. He tugs on the door handle and it opens with a screech.

  “It’s not right…” I mutter.

  Jai steps aside, holding the door open for me, I meet his stare. He looks painfully tired. Amongst it is a hint of concern—or irritation. I can’t tell under the layer of dirt on his face.

  “Right or wrong what choice do you have, Emily?”

  I swallow. I guess he’s right. Now is not the time for an attack of morality. I have plenty of time to feel guilty once this over and I’m not being hunted by a mad man.

  I suck in air and then expel it before slipping by him and entering the house.

  Recovery

  Jai

  Steam billows from the unclosed bathroom door, followed by a womanly sigh. I smile. I don’t think she’s ever stayed in a room that has a bathroom connected to it before. I glance down at the handgun I’m carrying and swiftly tuck it into the back of my towel.

  After I’d showered and thrown my clothes in the washing machine, Emily called out for me. Over a roaring shower and through foggy glass, she told me her bathroom didn’t have any towels. So, holding my own damp towel around my hips, I rushed down stairs to the towel cupboard to get her one…and that’s where I found the guns. I pulled on a floral towel wedged at the bottom of the stack. When I finally got it free, my elbow snapped back, hitting the side wall of the cupboard. Aside from the obvious large crack I noticed the wall was hollow. Sure enough, I pulled open the panel and there they were—two handguns, a shotgun and a rifle. Most people would cower at the sight of the aggressive hunks of metal, but I revel in it. It’s a welcome discovery considering our situation.

  I tuck the handgun further under my towel until the cool handle is the only part of it touching my lower back. Since there’s no telling how long we’re going to go undiscovered here it’s a good idea to stay vigilant—even if that means carrying a gun while wearing nothing but a towel.

  I push open the bathroom door and step inside. The hot, wet steam envelops my body and clings to my skin.

  “Here’s your towel.” I call out. “Do you need body wash? Shampoo?”

  “No. I found some under the sink.”

  I turn and head for the door.

  “Wait.”

  My stomach does a barrel roll. Stopping, I look over my shoulder. Her hand rubs at the glass, exposing her pink face and slicked hair. Most of it sticks to her skull, but the thinnest strand of it is caught on her cheekbone.

  “Are you going to sleep?”

  Unintentionally, my eyebrows furrow. “That’s the plan.”

  “Alone? In your own room?”

  I nod.

  Alone.

  In my own room.

  It almost sounds intimidating like that...has a few weeks really made us that dependent on each other? Like young children attached to their mother?

  “I’ll be in the room downstairs, by the front door…if you need me.”

  Emily glances down — a shy movement I’ve never seen her do before. A second later, the glass in front of her face becomes unclear once more. The only thing still visible is the pink in her skin. Her eyes are on me, I can feel them, but she doesn’t speak…

  So I leave.

  I want to stay. I want to ask her what she wants…but I don’t.

  Because I’m a pussy.

  Because the thought of hearing her tell me she wants me to share a bed with her absolutely terrifies me. It makes it real. It was one thing being stuck in a tiny hole in a wall with her. We had no choice outside of each other
for company. It’s another thing entirely to do the same out here in the real world. If we start something, how does it end? Would it end? I don’t know how to answer that. One thing I know for certain is; the possible romantic relationship budding between Kitten and me is a bad idea and for three major reasons. One: distractions in this revenge business are fucking dangerous. Two: how can I save my brother when my brain and my heart are focused on keeping her safe too? I don’t have the strength to keep two people alive. Three: I’ve never invested myself in another human being romantically before — and it’s not because I don’t want. I do…I’ve just never felt a connection on a level that runs deeper than the physical aspect of a relationship.

  Only one girl has caused fire to flow in place of my blood and my bones to ache under my skin.

  And she’s showering upstairs. Alone.

  I drag my feet over the beige runner in the hall, ten feet away from my room. When I get there, I grip the metal door knob in my hand, turn it, and push it open. It’s empty, void of any other furnishings except a double bed and a wooden night stand. I crinkle my nose as a distinct storage smell tickles my nostrils. It smells nothing like the sweet berry and clean flesh that fills Kitten’s room.

  I force out a heavy exhale and, with heavy feet, I carry myself over to the blanket-less bed. I’ve spent so long sleeping with her on me or next to me, do I even know how to sleep by myself anymore?

  I pull my gun from my towel and sit it on the wooden bedside table. On the surface is a red wine stain from the bottom of a glass.

  Exhaustedly, I run my hands over my face and drop onto the bed.

  I hate it.

  It’s too soft, too empty.

  “Fuck.” I swear under my breath.

  Am I too tired? My chest tightens, squeezing me with its anger. I want to sleep! Is that so fucking hard? I push myself back onto my feet and storm from the room.

  “Unh.” I run into Emily with a grunt in the hall.

  Clenching her towel hard against her chest, Emily gasps and I take a step back.

  “Jesus. You scared me.” She says, her voice soft underneath her heavy breathing.

  “Sorry.”

  I rake my fingers through my hair as her large, doe eyes divert from my face and scan awkwardly over the old photographs in the hallway. Diamond-like drops of water fall from the tips of her hair and roll down her milky, porcelain skin before disappearing between her breasts. If I wasn’t so tired, I’d moisten my suddenly dry mouth by collecting the drops off her wet skin with my tongue. Fuck yes I would. She looks different—almost an entirely different person. In this light, I see a sparse spattering of light, caramel freckles over her cheeks and golden flecks of light floating in her chocolate eyes. They’re mesmerizing.

  “Don’t like your room?” I ask.

  I know. I want to kick my own ass.

  Her bright brown irises meet mine. “I like it just fine...”

  “But?”

  Say it. Say it so I don’t have to.

  “But there’s something missing.”

  I open my mouth, but Kitten cuts me off in a flurry of embarrassment. A pink hue spreads from her wet chest, up her neck and nestles in her cheeks.

  “I’m sorry. This is stupid. I’m a grown woman... I should be able to sleep on my own.”

  She goes to turn away from me, but I snatch her wrist before she’s able to complete the turn and take a single step away. I don’t like her far…I like her close. Close enough to smell. Close enough to touch.

  The tips of her ears are red too, a testament to just how embarrassed she feels.

  “You want to sleep with me?”

  Her brown eyes meet mine. Uncertainty is there. Fear is there. There’s also a flood of relief. Why are the two of us acting like dependent children? I have no fucking idea.

  “Just this once.” She states, a blatant lie falling from her tongue.

  A beautiful, enticing lie. Just this once. How can I dispute that? I want it too. I’m dead tired, but I know I won’t sleep peacefully alone.

  Turning on my heel, I pull her into the bedroom and over to the bed. Choosing the left side, Emily clenches her towel to her body and climbs onto the bed. As I sit down, she digs her knees into the mattress.

  “Ugh. It’s so soft.” In unison, our exhausted voices tangle, her light tenor complementing my deep.

  “Who would’ve thought you’d miss lying on those uncomfortable mesh cots, huh?” I say.

  Kitten smiles before dropping her head against the pillow, the side of her body resting flush against the mattress. She tucks her hand under her cheek and suddenly, the bed looks like it’s the most comfortable bed in the world. Her face, beautiful deep brown eyes, and the sweet, subtle curve to her lips could sell a mattress with busted springs to the person who threw it away in the first place. If I wasn’t so tired...the things I would do...

  But I am tired and this isn’t peacetime. I need to be alert — as alert as humanly possible. Our lives depend on it.

  Lying down on my back, I tuck one arm under my head and let the other fall to my side. Without prompting, my heavy eyelids drop shut and the last thing I feel before a black oblivion claims me are warm, soft fingertips as they glide down the inside of my wrist and into the palm of my hand.

  ****

  “Aaaahh!”

  Panic electrocutes my system, jolting me awake. What the fuck? I barely have time to register if my eyes are open before I reach for my gun and dart out of bed. With an outstretched arm and a twitch in my trigger finger, I check all corners of the room with the point of my gun. It’s as empty as it was when we fell asleep. I look for Kitten and find her wide eyed and worried, clenching her heaving chest sitting in a heap on the floor.

  “What is it?” I pant. “What’s wrong?”

  It’s dark—eight o’clock maybe. If it weren’t for the light of the moon filtering in through the window I wouldn’t be able to see a thing.

  “Uh,” She swallows hard as her body quakes with an obvious shiver. “A spider. It ran across my shoulder.”

  She rakes five anxious fingers through her hair and I lower the gun. Guns make her nervous. Guns make most people nervous. Not me. If a fair chunk of time passes by and I haven’t fired a gun, I get withdrawals. I need to hold a gun. I need to feel the weight in my palm and the metal against my skin. The way the air smells after a gun has been fired and the way it vibrates through my flesh, turning my blood into hundreds of tiny ripples. Yeah, there’s nothing like it.

  “A spider?” I repeat, unconvinced.

  She nods quickly and with a hard swallow. “I’m gonna get dressed. Maybe get some air.”

  Emily is pale, paler than she’s supposed to be, and I’ll bet my life savings that it wasn’t a spider. I’ve seen where she lives. I’m sure a spider isn’t a freak occurrence.

  Gathering her towel around her body, she leaves room.

  The Dock

  Emily

  With a shiver I pull the blue knitted blanket I found on the couch around my shoulders and sit down on the edge of the dock. As soon as I stepped out into the freezing night air I realized it was way too cold to be out of the house—and especially too cold to be sitting over the water on a rickety old dock—but it’s the only place I can get maximum fresh, crisp, clean, cold air on my face.

  I lied earlier. A spider never ran over my shoulder and I think Jai knows it. What kind of grown woman has nightmares? What adult wakes up screaming? As soon as I saw the panic on Jai’s face when he sprung out of bed and watched it morph into confusion when he realized nothing was happening, I knew I had to lie to him. I don’t want him to see me as weak…I don’t want him to see me as someone he has to protect. I know I’ve seen some shit. I’ve seen throats spill blood as they were sliced open and I’ve seen bodies get absolutely pummeled. I’ve smelt death…I’ve touched it.

  Skull.

  Every time I close my eyes I see that skull tattooed so menacingly into his face. In my dreams I feel his murderous
hands on me, grabbing and squeezing whatever they want, and I smell his expensive cologne, mixed with the musky scents of mold, rust and blood. If he finds us…what will he do? If, by some miracle, he has kept Jai’s brother alive what has he been doing to him this whole time?

  “Emily?”

  I gasp as my heart jumps into my throat. Somehow, I manage to keep it down. Internal actions are easy to hide, but my external ones betray me.

  “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” Jai’s voice echoes over the still water.

  “You didn’t scare me.” I state, ashamed of the defensive tone my voice takes on.

  “All right.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see his bare feet as he stops beside me. His calf muscle tremors and I follow it up his leg until it disappears under his now dry and clean shorts. A second later, it hits his spine and his whole body jolts with a shiver.

  “You want in?” I ask, opening my blanket with a sniffle as the cold makes my nose run.

  “I was kinda hoping you weren’t planning on staying out here too long and we can go back to bed.”

  I smirk. Bed sounds nice and snuggling sounds better, but there’s no way I’m going back to sleep — not after sleeping all day and especially not after the nightmare I had. No way. It’s the kind of nightmare you can’t shake. The kind that follows you into your waking life.

  When Jai sees I’m not going anywhere, he exhales heavily, his breath visible as it swirls through the night air.

  “I’ll sit with you.”

  I shiver violently as a cold whoosh of air blows across the back of my neck. Though it was humid underground, it’s freaking cold up top. Luckily, I packed some longer, warmer clothes. Jai doesn’t own anything besides his black shorts and green t-shirt. I feel bad for the guy. It’s damn cold.

  Jai sits beside me and his hard, toned body rests against mine as he wraps the large blanket around us, blocking the cold air from hitting anywhere but out faces. I sniffle again.