Always Consumed Page 2

  I brush my finger across her nipple. It hardens immediately and her eyes flutter open.

  “Chloe’s still asleep,” I tell her, unable to cover my intent with a plain tone.

  In forty minutes we have to get ready for work, but right now, we have nowhere to be. Olivia’s arms surround my neck and she pulls me on top of her. Her body shivers against mine as I settle myself between her thighs and press my lips to her neck. Fuck. She smells good, she tastes good, and she feels amazing.

  “Pants. They need to go. Now,” she demands as she slips a hand between us and pushes on the hem of my black sweat pants.

  I angle my body to the side and manage to push one side of my pants down when I hear ‘daddy’ being cooed through the baby monitor. Olivia and I freeze. Fuck. I really hope it’s our imagination playing a trick on us.

  “Daddy.”

  I groan. No such luck. Swiftly following that, a series of ‘b’ words I don’t understand bubble out of the speaker followed by a frustrated sob.

  “She’s up,” Olivia sighs, pulling down her tank top.

  I take it as my cue to remove my hand. Exhaling, I adjust my pants and push myself to a kneeling position between Olivia’s legs. Disappointment flashes across her face, but she hides it under a tight smile and glistening eyes. I open my mouth, but she cuts me off.

  “I know. We’ll make time.”

  Yeah. I blow the air from my cheeks and move off the bed. Behind me, Olivia enters the bathroom and closes the door behind her. I rake my fingers through my hair. How do you know if you’re stuck in a rut? What is a rut, anyway, and how do you get out of it? I hold my palm out and let it brush against the white wall as I approach Chloe’s room.

  We can’t live like this.

  We need to do something.

  ***

  Chloe scoops up her last piece of buttered toast and stuffs it between her lips. I sit, watching her as she rubs her fruit puree into the surface of her high chair with her other hand. She’s lucky she’s so cute, like her mother.

  Across from me, Olivia nudges scrambled eggs around her plate, completely fixated by them. I contemplate asking her what’s wrong, but quickly decide against it. It’ll only lead us into another conversation about not finding time for each other and, as much as I love her, I can’t handle another conversation like that. I’ve said all I can say and I’ve promised to find time. What else is there?

  A loud knock echoes from the front door, right into the kitchen. Olivia jumps at the opportunity to get away from the table. She pushes her long, chocolate hair off her shoulders and rushes to the door. A moment later, she returns with her mother in tow. Olivia works two days a week at the gym with me and on those two days, her mom comes and babysits Chloe.

  “Morning, Seth.”

  I nod. “Morning.”

  She greets me, but her wide, excited eyes are solely on Chloe. Instantly she starts rambling in a baby language I don’t understand. It’s headache inducing, that’s for sure. I push out of my chair as she plants heavy kisses on Chloe’s cheeks. When she finally comes up for air, Olivia and I give Chloe kisses of our own and head for the door. The gym is supposed to open in fifteen minutes and the drive is at least twelve. Normally, I’d be hanging around the front door, demanding Olivia hurry her ass up, but, we’ve had a tough morning so I allow her movements to be a little slower than usual.

  When we make it to the car, Olivia’s body language tells me everything I need to know. She doesn’t want to talk, but I’m not about to spend the next twelve minutes of my life in uncomfortable silence.

  “So,” I begin with a heavy breath as I reverse onto the road. “Valentine’s Day. I bought you something I think you’re going to love.”

  It’s a pendant for a necklace I had custom made. She hates when I buy her things, especially on important dates, but I can’t help myself. Seeing her smile and her eyes light up…it makes it worth it.

  Olivia blinks and it lasts a split second longer than it should. “Seth—”

  “Don’t start, Olivia. I know you don’t want or need anything, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get you something.”

  She rakes her fingers through her hair, frustrated, apparently. “Fine. I got you something, too.”

  She’s lying. I know because whenever a ‘special’ day arises, she fishes for ideas from me. She also forgets to close webpages and clear the browser history. Just the other day I was on the computer and went to type something into the Google search bar. I’d say ‘valentine’s gift ideas for husband’ is a dead giveaway. Still, I go with it anyway.

  “I’ve told you a million times I don’t need anything.”

  Olivia folds her arms tightly over her chest. “And I’ve told you a million times I don’t want or need anything.”

  I press the gas a little harder, kicking us up to the legal speed limit. “You always play this game, O. What happens when the day rolls around and you open your gift?”

  “I don’t know.”

  I smirk. Stubborn pain in the ass. “You love it. You still haven’t taken out the diamond studs I got you for our anniversary.”

  Subconsciously, she reaches for her earlobe and gently swipes a thumb over the square stone. When she realizes, she quickly goes back to folding her arms.

  “I didn’t need them.”

  “But you love them,” I say. “Giving you gifts isn’t about whether you need it or not…I like to do it. It makes me…” I rub the back of my neck and grip the steering wheel. I’m married with a child and, still, lovey conversations embarrass me. “Seeing you happy makes me happy. I love you, Olivia—you mean the world to me. That’s all it means.”

  I watch the road, but I feel her stare warming the side of my face. Shortly after, her hand slips onto my thigh, so I move mine from the steering wheel and grip hers. Her hand seems small and fragile underneath mine.

  “Sorry I’ve been so frustrated this morning.”

  I glance at her, then back to the road. “It’s okay. What we’re going through is annoying and difficult, but we’ll get there. Once we find a balance, everything will be okay.”

  I stroke my thumb over the back of her hand.

  “You didn’t really get me a gift, did you?”

  Olivia sighs and lets her head loll back against the leather seat. “No.”

  I laugh, despite her obvious defeat and she tries to pull her hand back, but I squeeze it, holding it against my thigh. She doesn’t need to buy me a single thing. To have her and Chloe in my life is the only thing I need or want. I need them like I need air. You could take away my gym, my house, my cars and I’d still be happy as long as I have them. Any gift Olivia purchases this Valentine’s Day can never top what she has already given me. Anything besides her love is a waste of money.

  Chapter Three

  Olivia

  All morning I’ve been stuck for Valentine’s ideas. While Seth thinks I’m upset the morning sex didn’t pan out, what I’m really upset about is the lack of spontaneity in my brain. Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely disappointed Seth and I didn’t close the deal, but I just can’t shake this Valentine’s thing. If you put our relationship on a timeline, we’ve barely begun. So why does it feel like we’ve been at this thing forever? Maybe we’re stuck in a rut. Is that what it’s called? Ugh. I feel old just entertaining the idea.

  Young people are supposed to have all the time in the world for crazy sex, right? Or is it a marriage thing? They say once you get married and have children, your sex life is cut in half—sometimes quarters. Others say it disappears completely. I force the thoughts from my mind. That’s not us. Our sex life is…a little non-existent at the moment, but we’re not dried up. Not yet, anyway.

  I stop shuffling papers on Seth’s desk and sit back in the chair. I wonder what the others are doing for Valentine’s Day. I pick my phone up off the desk and scroll through my contacts list until I reach Selena’s name. A flare of excitement spirals inside my chest. I haven’t spoken to Selena in a while. In a
way, I’m eager to hear how Selena and Jackson’s newfound relationship is working. After that whole Amelia incident and Seth barring her from our gym, I haven’t heard a word. She pretty much vowed to destroy Selena and Jackson’s relationship and that’s never a good thing.

  “Hello?” Selena answers on the fifth ring.

  I arch an eyebrow at the stress in her tone. It’s not an unusual sound when I call her, but it’s definitely a lot stronger today.

  “Hey. You okay?”

  She huffs. “I’m okay, just trying to keep Jackson in the right head space. You know how he can be.”

  I fiddle with the corner of a loose sheet of paper. The thing is, I have absolutely no idea how Jackson can be. I know him enough to see that he has some serious issues, but that’s the extent of it.

  “Is it Amelia?”

  Selena sighs. “Mostly. This whole relationship thing is tough for him too, but hey, enough about my never ending Jackson problems, what’s up?”

  “Oh, right.” I almost forgot the reason I called her in the first place. “What do you have planned for Valentine’s Day?”

  “Jackson is taking me to the zoo. We’re going to ride the elephants.”

  I hear the smile in her tone. Selena loves the zoo, but there’s no way I’m going to spend my Valentine’s Day there. Walking around and looking at animals lie there is hardly romantic. I want something bold, something that will make a statement—a memory to last a hundred years. Something that will pull us out of this funk we’re in.

  I frown. “That’s hardly romantic.”

  “Excuse me, asshole, elephant riding is very romantic. What big impractical event have you got planned, cupid?”

  I pout. Checkmate. “I’ve got nothing so far, but I’m working on it.”

  Selena scoffs. “Oh, that’s romantic. You’re such a loser.”

  “What do you want me to do? The guy doesn’t want anything, he doesn’t have time to go anywhere, and then there’s Chloe.” I stop to let out a breath. Oh, fucking hell. “We’re stuck. In a rut.”

  I can almost hear Selena roll her eyes. “You’re lazy, not stuck. You two aren’t even in your thirties yet. A rut is like menopause, it doesn’t occur before you’re forty-five.”

  “Lazy? Who’s the asshole now? We’re not lazy.”

  She snorts. “Hey, here’s an idea, why don’t you two go out for dinner at a crazy expensive restaurant and pretend you don’t know each other. That’s some sexy Mr. and Mrs. Smith shit.”

  Mr. and Mrs. Smith? Remind me why I’m calling her for Valentine’s ideas again?

  “Sure, we’ll go to dinner and then we’ll beat the hell out of each other. Real sexy.”

  “It could be sexy, I mean, meeting each other for the first time all over again, but not really. I think it’s very romantic—hey, I gotta go. Dad just pulled up.”

  “Okay, well, thanks for the chat, Sel.”

  “Anytime.”

  Then she hangs up. For twenty minutes after, I stare at the wall actually contemplating her stupid idea. What if Seth and I could meet each other for the first time all over again? To feel the way I did that day…My blood heats at the thought. I remember it like it was yesterday.

  “Unf,” I grunt as I walk into a hard body. My phone slips from my hands and hits the floor.

  Thankfully, the screen remains crack free.

  “Sorry.” I groan, kneeling down to pick up my phone.

  I pick it up off the floor and then I freeze. My hand tightens convulsively around the device as I notice the person standing in front of me is wearing a pair of black drawstring pants. Slowly, my eyes travel up his body. No, no, no, no. Please, God, let it be anyone but him. My gaze meets his hard, sweaty chest and then flicks up to a pair of dark, chocolate eyes that have little golden rivers of honey that branch throughout them. I swallow hard. He’s inches away from me, standing as still as stone and staring down at me. I feel my knees begin to shake as I peer shyly up at him through my dark lashes. He extends a long fingered hand to me and I instantly take it.

  “Did I get you wet?” he asks in a voice that is so sinfully deep I immediately get a shiver down my spine.

  He helps me to my feet but doesn’t let go of my hand. His skin is hot and my blood simmers as a result. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip as a telltale blush springs to my cheeks.

  “What?”

  “Did I get you wet?” he repeats slower this time, emphasizing each word. “I’m covered in sweat.

  The obnoxious Seth, out in full force. I feel a wide smile stretch my lips. Getting to know each other, there was nothing I wouldn’t do to get him alone. I even lost my job over it. What’s changed? We run our own business, but we can’t find time for each other? How does that make sense? Maybe Selena is right. Maybe we need to be taken back to the beginning to realize what he had. One night, one dinner, to pull ourselves out of this sex drought and figure out a plan so we never fall back into it. I don’t care if we have to draw up a schedule or slip quickies in on the way to work or between clients. We’ll find ourselves by pretending we don’t know each other. I know it’s a long shot, but what better day to try something so risqué than Valentine’s Day?

  My heart clenches with excitement and nausea bubbles to the surface as I think about telling Seth our plans. He’s going to hate it, but when he’s having the best sex of his life, he’s going to love it. Guaranteed. Who knows, maybe we can turn it into an annual thing and next year I won’t have to stress so much when it comes to gift giving. It’s a gift that gives itself.

  Before I bring it up with Seth, I need to work on a babysitter. On all our other ‘special’ occasions, Chloe has been with us. For our anniversary, she was present every second of it. I loved having her there and her sweet face captured in all of the photos, but this Valentine’s Day isn’t something I want her to be a part of. As selfish as it sounds, I want one day, one event that is solely for Seth and me. Just this once. Guilt for even thinking of not wanting Chloe to be there hurts, but it’s healthy to do things alone, right?

  In my contacts list, I scroll to ‘Mom’ and hit the call button. It barely finishes the first ring before she answers.

  “Hello?” she asks in a hushed whisper.

  “Mom? Is everything okay?”

  I hear the slight click of a door in the background.

  “Everything is fine,” she says, raising her voice a little higher. “I just put her down for a nap.”

  I smile at the thought. I love Chloe’s nap times. “How is she?”

  “Busy. That girl has energy to last for days.”

  I roll my eyes. “If you stopped slipping her chocolate cookies, she wouldn’t be as hyper. I’ve told you a million times.”

  Mom scoffs. “And I heard you. It was only one chocolate cookie. Anyway, I know as a mother you worry when you leave your baby in the hands of someone else, but there’s really no need for these checkup calls, Olivia. I’ve raised two children and both you and your brother turned out okay.”

  I rake my fingers through my loose hair, pulling it out of my face. “I know. I’m not calling to check up. I have a favor I need to ask you—wait—speaking of my brother, how is Chase?”

  “He’s finding it a little difficult. His platoon has been sanctioned to guard a small town in a high risk area. We won’t be able to get in contact with him for the next three months.”

  Oh no. Here I am stressing over Valentine’s Day and my brother is in the Middle East, somewhere, risking his life. It hardly seems stressful when it’s put like that.

  “He’s going to be okay, though, right?”

  Mom immediately jumps in, reassuring me that everything is going to be okay. “Of course. His commanding officer has predicted a ninety-eight percent success rate for the mission. If they play it right, it should be an in and out thing.”

  To hear a percentage so high eases my worries. I know my brother. He’s smart, he’d never do anything to put his life in danger…unless it involves a girl. He’s hop
eless when it comes to women—reckless, even. I wonder how many women in the town even speak English. I know my brother, though. English spoken or not, he has a thing for exotic features—especially those of Middle Eastern women.

  “What was the favor you were going to ask?”

  Pushing images of my brother getting beheaded by a rich Middle Eastern tycoon for sleeping with his wife to the back of my mind, I ask her, “Would you mind babysitting Chloe for the night on Valentine’s Day? I have a plan for Seth and I and—”

  “Yes, Olivia, I’ll watch Chloe if you stop right where you are. I don’t want to hear it.”

  I can almost feel her shudder through my cell and I bite back a smile. She can relax. I’m not about to explain all of the different positions I want Seth to take me in. Not only would it be embarrassing for both of us, but it’d also take up the remainder of my day.

  “Thanks, Mom. I really appreciate it.”

  I don’t know how long we speak after that. Once she confirmed she’d babysit Chloe, my mind went rampant, thinking about the different dresses I can wear, all of the restaurants we can choose from. I want something classy, yet simple. A place I can wear a gorgeous dress without looking out of place.

  “I might do some baking…” Mom says, pulling me from my own head.

  And with that, I say goodbye and hang up. As soon as I set the phone down on the table, my insides transform from stressed and coiled to eager and excited. I jump from the office chair and rush for the door. I have to tell Seth we have plans before he decides on pizza and a bad action movie. Once he gets the idea of pizza lodged into his brain, it’s almost impossible to remove.

  I race down the stairs and once I’m on the main floor, I slow my pace to a quick, but careful, walk. I cross the main floor in record time, smiling a little too widely at the people I pass on the way. When I reach the second training room door, I knock once before pushing it open. Normally, I’d never intrude on a training room that has the black glass active, but when it’s Jackson, all gym etiquette goes out the window.